Challenge Entry 4: Through the Moetions
by Zokusho
Summary: Certain someone's birthday is coming up and Yutaka is preparing a party. An entry for the 4th challenge on the Mostly Lucky Star Forum.


**Fan Fiction Challenge 4: Through the Moe-tions**

This is a story written for the 4th challenge on Mostly Lucky Star Forum. The subject this time is: "_Someone's birthday is coming, and Yutaka wants to make it special."_

* * *

"Cousin, did you listen to me at all?" Yutaka sighed. She had just finished explaining her plans to Konata, while she was playing on her computer. Not a smart move.

"Yes! Finally got into that event scene!" Konata exclaimed.

"What? Cousin! I wasn't talking about that … gal-game?"

Quickly, Yutaka turned her head away, because whatever was now on Konata's screen was mostly pink – flesh-colored.

Konata typed something on the keyboard, clicked the mouse a few times, and then twirled her chair around while the scandalous image disappeared.

"And saved! Finally I got her! She's one of the hardest ones, 'cause she's so popular … sorry, Yutaka, I wasn't listening. Could you repeat that?"

Yutaka sighed. "In short, I said that Minami-chan's birthday is next Friday and that I wanted to arrange a surprise party for her."

"You've triggered a Minami flag?"

Yutaka looked puzzled. "What does that mean?"

Konata tried not to laugh, and said, "Hmm … it means you want to be _really_ good friends with Minami-chan. Yeah, that's it."

"Of course I'm Minami-chan's friend! I don't know if I'm her best friend, though. She hasn't told me how she feels."

Konata nearly fell off her chair as she laughed so hard, because Yutaka sounded so innocent, not aware of even a Class S relationship.

Yutaka pouted and muttered, "Cousin, are you laughing at me?"

Konata got up and petted Yutaka's head. "No, you're just so damn cute! … so, what do you have in mind for this surprise party? First, where are we going to have it?"

"At our house, I think. I would invite her; tell her that we're going to study, and that it will be only us two. Everyone else will act like they had something else to do at Friday."

"And then, when Minami comes in, we'll leap out from hiding, scream 'happy birthday, Minami-chan', and douse her with waterguns!" Konata suggested.

"No, no! Please, not that!"

"Okay. I didn't think it through. We should scream, 'FUNGAAAAH!'"

"No, I meant we shouldn't use waterguns at her!"

"Whoa, are you thinking of a paintball gun? That's hardcore!"

Yutaka didn't exactly know what a paintball gun was, but it sounded dangerous. "No, no … serpentine?"

"That's not scary at all. Let me think … cold boiled noodles?"

Yutaka shivered at the thought. "Cousin! This is a birthday party, not a haunted house!"

"Okay," Konata sighed. "Besides, a haunted house would be scared of her! She's almost scarier than Kagami!"

"No! Minami-chan is a really nice person!" Yutaka protested.

"I know. You're even cuter when you're flustered!" Konata cooed, and patted Yutaka's head.

"I'm not cute!" Yutaka yelled, and tried to dodge. Then, she remembered something and developed a surprisingly sly expression. "Do you want to invite Kagami-san, cousin?"

Konata stopped rocking her chair and raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Sure. I'd like Kagami to come."

"Why, have you triggered a Kagami flag, cousin?" Yutaka asked, looking snobby since she for once came up with a comeback.

But Konata only laughed. "Oh yes! I've got lots of Kagami flags up! Though, for some extra moe, we've got to invite Tsukasa and Miyuki as well."

Yutaka sighed, "okay …", sat down, and took out her cell phone.

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"So, Minami is now in the train?" Konata asked.

Yutaka nodded. It was Friday, after school, and everyone she had invited had come to Konata's house. Minami had gone to her house to change clothes and gather what she needed for the sleepover. Things were going on as planned.

"Yes, she sent me a text message."

"So … she will be here in fifteen minutes. We turn the lights off, hide in the living room, Minami comes in, and when Yutaka flips the light switch, we'll all leap out and yell 'FUNGAAAH!'" Konata explained.

"Surprise! We were going to yell 'surprise!'," Yutaka corrected.

"Oh, that's hard!" Miyuki noted.

"What's hard?"

"Leaping out, surprising someone, and yelling like that … I don't know if I'll be able to do that."

"What? Why?" the others asked.

"It's not that difficult," Konata said, and grabbed Miyuki's hand. "Let's do a dry run! Hide behind the couch. Then, leap out, and yell 'FUNGAAAH!'"

"Surprise! Surprise!" Yutaka groaned.

"Yeah, that," Konata noted. "Go ahead, try it!"

"Okay, Izumi-san …" Miyuki said, walked around the couch and crouched behind it.

The others waited, until Konata said, "Yuki-chan? Go."

"Oh. Here I go," Miyuki said, popped up from behind the couch and said, "Surprise!"

"No, no. You must leap out much quicker! And yell at the top of your lungs!" Konata explained. "Try it again. With a feeling!"

"All right, Izumi-san … s-surprise!"

"This isn't working," Konata muttered, and scratched her head. "Maybe we should have invited that big mouth Misao to show you how it's done. Hmm …Yuki-chan, is there something that makes you scream?"

Miyuki was blushing slightly.

"No, we can't use _that_," Konata immediately commented.

"Excuse me, Izumi-san?" Miyuki queried.

"Never mind. Has there been any situation where you had to shout really loud? Like … warning someone of a danger?"

"Ah! Yes, there is. When Minami-san was smaller, she was once about to run over the street to our house. There was a car speeding up down the street and she didn't see it. So, I shouted 'stop', _really_ loud."

"Good. Now, think you're in that situation again … and shout like you did back then!"

Miyuki drew a deep breath, and shouted, "SURPRISE!"

All the windows in the house rattled. The shout seemed to echo inside the house for several seconds.

"I think my ears are bleeding," Tsukasa moaned. Yutaka was crouching on the floor and holding her ears. The rest of the girls had turned pale. And everyone's ears were – if not bleeding, at least ringing.

"Yuki-chan … you've got great lungs …" Konata gasped.

"Oh?"

Konata rubbed her ears, and said, "You got the right idea, but you need to tone it down. I thought I would never say this … but that was _too_ loud."

"O-okay …"

A few minutes passed, until the doorbell rang. Everyone scurried into their hiding places. "Konata, get out!" Kagami groaned from under the _kotatsu_. "We can't both fit in here!"

"Sure we can!" Konata cooed, "I just need to come reaaaally close …"

"Don't touch me! Go away!" Kagami yelled, and squirmed, as Konata brushed against her body. "A-ah! Don't put your knee in there! … what's your hand doing!"

"Ssh! Be quiet, already!" Yutaka hissed. She turned the living room lights off and went to open the door.

The others tried to stay silent and listened to them. "Hello, Minami-chan. Are you okay? Sorry that we couldn't hang out with the others. And that we are just going to study. It's boring, I know…"

Minami took her shoes off and followed Yutaka into the living room.

"… is okay. I'd rather just … study with you … rather than …" she muttered.

Miyuki leaped out from behind the couch, and yelled, "SURPRISE!"

Practice had paid off: she did it perfectly. And not _too_ loud. The problem was that she did it too _early._ Everyone else mostly failed to move, and those who did, couldn't make much noise, because they were too startled. Even Konata's "FUNGAAAH!" came out just as a whisper.

Yutaka flipped the light switch on.

"Excuse me?" Miyuki said, and looked around. Then, she giggled nervously. "Oh, I'm sorry! I guess I had a premature ejaculation."

"Yuki-chan, you didn't wait for my cue! I said, when I turn on the lights –" Yutaka groaned.

There was a crash as Minami stumbled onto the floor, unconscious.

Everyone's jaw fell open. "Whoa! I never thought _she_ would faint!" Patricia gasped.

"What's happening?" Kagami asked. She and Konata were still halfway under the _kotatsu_, stuck, because they had tried to crawl out simultaneously.

"Minami-chan fainted! Good job, Miyuki!" Konata yelled, and raised a thumb. Kagami knocked her on top of her head with her knuckles, and hissed, "Stupid!"

"Cousin! It's not funny!" Yutaka groaned, and knelt beside Minami.

"Ouch," Konata said, rubbing her head. "Don't worry, she fell on the _tatami._ She shouldn't be hurt."

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Minami had recovered quickly but developed a slight headache, so they had taken Minami upstairs. She was now lying on Yutaka's bed, with a wet towel on her forehead, and Yutaka holding her hand.

"Aww, how cute …" Konata whispered, as she and Kagami peeked through the door.

"Hush. This is your fault again. As a punishment, you'll have to bake cookies," Kagami whispered.

Konata opened her mouth, but Kagami's glare made her shut up before she would have said anything about Kagami and cookies. Besides, keeping silent saved her from another bump on her head.

"Okay," Konata just sighed.

"Tsukasa will help you and make sure you don't poison my cookies," Kagami said as they came to the kitchen.

Tsukasa was already wearing an apron and busy preparing the birthday meal. "Oh, how is Minami-chan doing?"

"She'll be fine, no thanks to Konata," Kagami said.

"Tsukasa, are you making buckwheat noodles by hand? That's impressive," Konata noted. "I'll bake some cookies."

Tsukasa nodded at Konata and handed another apron to her. "_Soba _is Minami-chan's favorite. Sis, could you decorate the cake?"

"Me?" Kagami asked with disbelief, pointing at herself.

"I thought we weren't aiming for a haunted house?" Konata asked.

Kagami glared at her and growled, "What was that supposed to mean?"

"Kagami-san, I can help you with the cake," Miyuki said.

"Do we have an apron in your cup size? Anyway, Kagami can clean the strawberries. I think not even she can ruin them," Konata noted. "Sorry, sorry!" she quickly added, as Kagami approached her with her fist clenched.

"Can we help with anything?" Patricia asked.

Hiyori was already busy with her sketchbook – apparently the apron-wearing girls had inspired her.

Konata eyed Patricia for a while and said, "Ah! You can help with whipping the cream. Take turns with Miyuki."

Kagami eyed Konata with suspicion. "Why?"

"Oh, no reason at all…" Konata tried to look innocent and started to whistle as she rummaged through the pantry.

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"Okay, you can come now!" Konata yelled. She meant Minami and Yutaka, who had returned upstairs after dinner of cold soba in bamboo basket with dipping sauce.

They had dimmed the lights and set the cake onto the living room table, with all sixteen candles lit.

As Minami came in, led by Yutaka, they all started singing, "Happy birthday to you".

Minami squirmed as she had to stand there listening to that and being the center of attention.

"T-thanks …" she muttered, as they finally ended their singing, cheering and applauding.

"Make a wish and blow the candles!" Konata suggested.

Minami sat down at the table, and stared at the cake. Everyone looked at her, expectantly at first, then questioningly.

"… I don't know what to wish …" she finally muttered.

"Wow! You already have everything you ever wished for?" Patricia asked. "I'd wish for billion yen!"

"How greedy," Kagami said.

"Certainly not! Billion yen is only ten million dollars," Patricia protested. "So what'd you wish for, Kagami?"

"Me? How would I know?" Kagami groaned. "Ask Konata."

"Kagami would wish for billion cookies!" Konata said. "Ouch," she added, when she got another bump onto her head.

"I meant asking you what _you_ would wish for!" Kagami growled.

"I wish … for, hm …" Konata's eyes traveled around the table. "… for a harem!"

For now, she got another bump onto her head instead of a harem.

"Ouch!" Konata yelped yet again, and rubbed her head. "How about you, Tsukasa? What's your wish?"

"Oh, me? As in … what I'd wish if I could wish for anything?"

"Yes, any single thing."

"… hmm … a restaurant of my own, maybe. And you, Yuki-chan?" Tsukasa turned to Miyuki.

"According to mythology, avaricious wishes often go wrong. So, I guess I just wish I would be accepted into a good university."

"Okay. Who's left?" Konata asked. "Oh, Hiyori. Hiyori! Hey, Hiyori!"

Hiyori snapped out of her trance. She had been drawing the sixth sketch of Patricia and Miyuki whipping cream. "What?"

"What would you wish for? If you could wish for anything?"

"Oh, I'd wish to be a great artist, of course," Hiyori said without hesitation.

"Not very imaginative," Konata commented.

"Crap! Can I rephrase that?"

"No, too late. You are bound to be a great, not-imaginative artist!"

Hiyori moaned and pulled her hair.

"Don't listen to her," Kagami noted. "Thank you," she said, as Yutaka handed her a slice of cake on a plate. "Oh, Yutaka, I think we didn't hear your wish yet."

"A wish? Hm … there are so many things I'd like to wish for …" Yutaka pondered.

"… Yutaka … you can have my wish if you want … since I don't know …" Minami said quietly.

"Oh no, I couldn't take your wish! Besides, you're the only one who actually got a wish today … hey, did you blow the candles already?" Konata gasped. "Hey, we missed it!"

"_You_ missed it," Kagami corrected. "You focused on everything else."

"Hey! I can focus. If it's something important."

"Anime, manga, and games?"

"Why, of course! Those are important things."

"You should focus on schoolwork!" Kagami snapped at her. Then, she developed a mischievous grin. She reached out with her hand, snatched the strawberry off Konata's slice of cake, and quickly stuffed it into her mouth.

Konata froze and stared at Kagami with horror.

"Y-you took my strawberry!" she gasped.

"Was that important? You didn't exactly focus on it. Ha ha! You should see your face now!" Kagami exclaimed.

Konata's jaw twitched and her eyes watered. "The strawberry on top is the cake's heart! Its soul!" she wailed.

Kagami's smile soured quickly. "Hey …"

"My strawberry …" Konata whispered. Her spoon clattered onto the table and she covered her eyes.

"What? Don't tell me you are crying! Are you that childish?" Kagami groaned. "And after all the pranks you've pulled on me …"

Konata buried her head into her arms and sniffled. Her shoulders were trembling.

"Hey, hey …" Kagami muttered. "You can't be serious!"

Everyone glared at Kagami with disgust. "You made cousin cry," Yutaka accused.

"I-I'm sorry …" Kagami said. Gently, she patted Konata's shoulder. "Please, don't cry …"

Konata wrapped her arms around Kagami, and buried her face into her neck. Kagami instantly turned beet red. Awkwardly, she returned the hug and patted Konata's back.

Hiyori stared at them with bulging eyes, whipped out her sketchbook again and started scribbling furiously.

"Kagami?" Konata whispered.

"Y-yes?"

"Gotcha!"

"You annoying little twerp!" Kagami yelled, and pushed Konata away.

"You deserved that after stealing my strawberry! … so, did you like holding me? Did it feel good?"

"Of course not!" Kagami groaned.

"I think it was nice. It did feel good. I even kissed your neck, did you notice?"

"D-don't say such things!" Kagami muttered. Of course it had felt good. Frighteningly good. Euphoric.

Tsukasa started chanting, "Konata and Kagami sitting in a tree, kay-i-ess-ess-i-enn-gee, – ouch!" she ended it when Kagami knocked her on the head.

"Tsukasa!" Kagami groaned.

"Hehe. Sorry, sis."

"If you guys have finished, let's give Minami her present!" Patricia announced.

Miyuki cleared her throat. "We gathered and thought about it together. What could we give to Iwasaki-san who – sorry for saying this – already has everything she needs –"

"Yeah, your family is filthy rich!" Konata commented, and quickly lifted her plate above her head. Kagami raised her hand but she wasn't quite yet in the mood to smack Konata.

"– and indeed, her financial situation would allow her to buy anything she needed. Also, we didn't want to embarrass you, Iwasaki-san –"

"You should have heard what I suggested!" Konata interrupted again.

"Some other time, Izumi-san," Miyuki said, with a slightly annoyed tone. Konata quickly snapped her mouth shut. She remembered one time Miyuki had almost become angry at her during class, and it had been a frightening experience.

"Ahem. So, we decided not to buy you anything. We just offer … our friendship," Miyuki concluded.

Minami looked at her, puzzled.

"We are all here for you whenever you need us. We two are neighbors, and have always been there for each other, so for us, this is nothing new …" Miyuki looked at Tsukasa.

"Oh, me? If you ever need help with cooking, I guess. You are so good with everything you do, Minami-chan, that that's probably the only thing …" Tsukasa muttered.

Kagami spoke next. "If any senior ever bullies you, or Yutaka, just come to me. I'll handle it."

Konata cleared her throat. "Uh … I forgot to think about this … hmm … ah! If you ever need to know something about anime, manga, doujins, or games – or loan any –"

"Me too!" Patricia yelled. "Oh, and if you need any help with English, I might try … though I think you're better in it than me!"

Patricia nudged Hiyori. "Wake up. Your turn."

"Oh. I-I guess I can draw any commissions you've got?" Hiyori said.

Minami didn't seem quite to get that, but she smiled her thin smile at Hiyori. "Thank you, everyone … this is more than enough presents for me. You are all very thoughtful."

"Whoa, that's the longest speech EVER!" Konata shouted. "Ouch," was her next word.

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The guests were leaving, except for Kagami and Tsukasa, who were staying for a sleepover – and to study, according to Kagami. The three sempai went upstairs. Minami was the last one to leave.

"Minami-chan?" Yutaka said, and touched Minami's arm.

She flinched and turned around, raising an eyebrow at Yutaka.

"As you know … I didn't give you any presents yet. Or, well I arranged this party, but … when you go home tonight, you can expect … something to happen. It will be my present."

"Oh," Minami said, and smiled. "It's okay … I didn't expect anything … I'll be waiting, then."

"Good night, Minami-chan."

"Good night, Yutaka …"

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"What? Do delivery girls wear miniskirts?" Kagami asked, eyeing Konata with suspicion. Konata had taken them upstairs. They were going to "deliver Minami's present" later and Konata had just presented them two outfits to wear.

"Sure they do!" Konata said, and pointed at Tsukasa. "See how hot your sister looks."

Kagami turned her head and saw that Tsukasa had already changed her clothes. She was now wearing a cap, a dress shirt that had a logo of some sort, and which was so short that her navel was exposed, and a blue miniskirt. Tsukasa giggled as she looked at herself. "This is cute!"

"N-navel exposed? No, no! That's not a delivery girl outfit! And that's not cute! That's … that's …" Kagami exclaimed.

Both Konata and Tsukasa looked at her, eagerly waiting to hear what it was.

"… weird!" Kagami concluded.

Konata sighed.

"Come on! Do you seriously expect me to wear that kind of outfit!" Kagami groaned, as she turned the miniskirt in her hands.

"Why not, Kagamin? You've been dieting and exercising a lot lately, so your legs won't look too fat ... hey, don't tell me you haven't shaven your legs?"

"I don't need to shave my legs!"

"Your tummy is nice and flat too," Konata said, and pinched Kagami's stomach.

Kagami screamed and jumped backwards. "Eeh! Don't do that! And get out! I won't change my clothes when you're watching!"

"Okay. I've got to go help Yutaka anyway. So you are doing this?"

"For Minami's sake, yes."

"Great! Now, I'm going to Yutaka's room. No peeking! We are preparing Minami's present. Entertain yourself however you like in the meantime. Oh, and don't forget to take pictures! The digicam is on the table," Konata explained, and left the room.

After Konata had gone, Kagami stopped and stared at a wall. _"Why do we have to look like this for Minami, anyway? … it's probably for Konata's sake …"_

"Sis, could you take pictures of me first?" Tsukasa asked.

"Don't take her seriously!"

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"Okay, cousin Yui just called. She'll be here in five minutes. The box is ready, so now it's the time to get you ready!" Konata announced, and lifted a bunch of red bands from a plastic bag.

"Cousin, what is this?"

"Ribbons! It's leftovers from last Christmas over at my workplace. So that's why it's red. But I think it will look good on you!" Konata explained.

"On me? Should I take these off?" Yutaka asked, pointing at her hair.

"No, no. This is for wearing around you. Gift wrapping, you know. So, start stripping!"

"Oh, okay – wait, what?"

"Why, of course you can't wear ribbons over your clothes!"

"Oh, I see," Yutaka said, although she didn't quite get it at all. _"I guess cousin knows the best. She's got the experience with cosplay and stuff."_

Konata chuckled to herself while helping Yutaka undress. She wanted to, but didn't have the heart to quote Haruhi, _"It's so much fun taking all your clothes off"_ – besides, this was her little cousin so she tried not to get too excited. And biting her ear would be right out!

"So, this ribbon goes here, from back to the front … in between your legs …" Konata explained, while wrapping Yutaka up. "And this around your chest, then I tie it into a nice bow over here … and you should wear one around your neck as well. It looks nice. Like a collar."

"It does? Okay, then. Thank you, cousin, for helping me with this costume! I hadn't thought of wearing anything special. After all, this is just a surprise sleepover."

Konata's eyes widened for a moment, but she quickly controlled her expression so that Yutaka wouldn't notice. _"She's sending herself in a box, virtually naked, as a present to her friend, and doesn't get it … and she has even read some of my doujins!"_

"… anyway … you did get the idea of sending yourself as a present. Good job!" Konata said, and raised her thumb – probably both for Yutaka's idea as well as her own wrapping work. "Now, the mirror is downstairs … but dad's coming home soon, and he would be, hm, upset, if he saw you now. But trust me, you look _good!_"

"I already told uncle I'm having a sleepover at Minami's. Hm … what next?"

"When Yui arrives, get into the box so that they can't see you. That's for Minami-chan's eyes only!"

"Righto."

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"All done! You'll be there for two nights? I'll see you at Sunday, then?" Konata talked to the box standing in the upstairs hallway. It was a big, sturdy cardboard box, with multiple air holes in it, as well as several stickers saying things like "Fragile" and "This Side Up". They had decided not to use gift wrap for the box, because it would block the air holes and be torn during transport. Konata simply glued another ribbon bow on the top, and wrote "Happy Birthday, Minami-chan" beside it with a wide felt-tip.

The box giggled. "Yeah. This is so much fun!"

"I hope you are comfortable."

"Yes, thanks to you for putting foam plastic on the bottom," the box noted, and swung a bit, as the contents shifted themselves into another position.

Konata cackled. "I wish I could be there, but I have a work shift tonight. So, Kagami and Tsukasa are delivering – oh, I even got them messenger service uniforms!"

"Great! … but can't see them very well from here. Could you take photographs?" the box asked.

"I told them to take some. Now, be quiet for a while. I want to see their reaction," Konata said, and then yelled, "Kagami and Tsukasa! It's time to go!"

The two sisters came out of Konata's room. Tsukasa looked completely relaxed, but Kagami was blushing, and tried to cover her belly and at the same time hold the skirt down. They looked at the box, and then at each other.

"What a large present," Tsukasa noted.

"You two look dashing!" Konata said. Kagami just glared at her, while Tsukasa took a sexy pose, and held her fingers in a "V" position. "Sis took lots of pictures of me!"

"Good. Did you take –" Konata was interrupted by a sneeze from the box.

"Gaah!" Kagami screamed. "I-is there someone inside that box!"

"No! There's nobody in here!" the box exclaimed.

"That's a relief," Tsukasa said. "For a moment I really thought there was someone in there!"

Kagami eyed Tsukasa and sighed.

"Gaah!" Tsukasa yelped as she realized the box had just talked. "Sis, I think there is someone inside after all!"

Kagami glared at Tsukasa again, and sighed even louder.

"W-who is it?" Tsukasa gasped, yanked the box open, and found herself staring at Yutaka, wearing red ribbons – and nothing else.

"Oh, hi, Yu-chan!" Tsukasa said, and sighed in relief. "Sis, it's just Konata's cousin Yu-chan!"

"Hi, Tsukasa-chan!" Yutaka exclaimed, and smiled at her.

Kagami muttered something and rolled her eyes – and as she saw Yutaka her jaw dropped.

"Sis? What's the matter?" Tsukasa asked. Yutaka looked back at Kagami, equally puzzled.

Kagami glared at both of them in disbelief. "I – uh, nothing. Nothing's the matter. Apparently!" she groaned.

Yutaka and Tsukasa looked at each other. "Sis is acting all weird today," Tsukasa noted.

"It's the entire Izumi family that is weird!" Kagami groaned.

Konata didn't have any comments because she was rolling on the floor with laughter.

They closed the box again and carried it downstairs. Halfway through, Kagami groaned, "Why are we carrying her? She could have walked – no, never mind. In fact it's better that she stays in the box."

"Ssh, Kagami. Don't say too much," Konata whispered. "She's completely clueless."

Eventually they managed to get the box downstairs, and after just a couple of minutes, they heard Yui's car horn.

"Yahoo!" Yui yelled. "Whoa! What a huge present! Can it fit into the car?"

"Oh. I didn't think of that," Konata said.

"As usual," Kagami sighed.

It turned out that they could fit the box into the back seat – but there was absolutely no chance for all the three passengers to fit into the car.

Konata sighed and handed the digicam to Kagami. "I guess you two have to go, because you have the proper uniforms."

"So you take this uniform and go!"

"But that uniform is far too large for me! It's huuuge! It's – oww!" Konata had lost the count of the bumps on her head.

"Shut it. I'll do it. But we will study when I come back!"

"Aww, Kagamin – you want to stay with me overnight?" Konata cooed.

Kagami didn't answer, she just turned around and jammed herself into the back seat – Tsukasa had already called shotgun.

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Minami had come to answer the door. She looked puzzled – as puzzled as someone with no expressions could look – by Hiiragi sisters' outfits.

"Oh, hi, Minami-chan! We've delivering your presents! Kona-chan made us wear these."

"Ah," Minami said. That did explain everything.

"Um, I think we'd better carry this into your room," Kagami said, and lifted the other end of the box. Tsukasa grabbed the other end.

"Wow. That's a huge present you've got there, Minami-chan!" Minami's mother said. "What's in it?"

"It's a surprise!" Kagami yelled, fearing that Tsukasa would blurt it all out. Tsukasa almost slipped on the stairs.

"Hiiragi-san, be careful!" Minami's mother said. "You just take that box upstairs and show me later what was inside, okay."

Minami, being a girl of few words, only nodded again.

Kagami had a sudden fit of coughing.

"Whoa!" Minami's mother yelled. "Be careful, Hiiragi-san! Is it fragile?"

"Yes, sort of. I'm okay! Let's go," Kagami said.

Upstairs, they lifted the box into the middle of Minami's room.

"Whew!" Tsukasa exclaimed, and wiped her brow.

"Finally done. Wait, don't open it yet! We, hm, we must leave before you unwrap – I mean, before you open this box! Alone in your room! … and close the door. Anyway, we must go right now!" Kagami explained, and dragged Tsukasa away with her.

"T-thank you –" Minami muttered, but they were already gone.

She heard the Hiiragi sisters saying their goodbye downstairs, then there was a sound of a car pulling away with a screech. She could guess who was driving.

For a while, Minami just stood there, staring at the huge box, and wondering why Yutaka had not accompanied the Hiiragis bringing it. She shrugged her shoulders and closed the door as instructed.

Sighing, she carefully removed the elaborate bow of ribbons and the few pieces of tape holding the box close, and opened the lid.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

"Mi-Minami-chan? P-present …?" Yutaka said, her voice turning into a squeak, because she was getting a bit nervous at Minami's reaction.

"I – hhh – I – hhh …" Minami tried to say something. This time, she had not fainted. Instead she was hyperventilating and sat down onto the floor.

"Minami-chan, are you upset? Kona-chan said this would be the, uh, right way to go …"

Yutaka climbed out of the box, came closer, and Minami found herself staring at what she was wearing in all its entirety. Now it was clear that she was wearing wide, red ribbons, and not much else. One ribbon around her neck, one around her chest, and going in between her legs, tied into an elaborate bow on her bosom.

"Wh … wh …" Minami gasped.

"Excuse me?" Yutaka asked, looking completely innocent.

"What are you wearing!" Minami managed finally to spit out the words.

Now Yutaka remembered what she was indeed wearing. She glanced at herself and turned beet red instantly.

"Oh! I forgot … cousin made me wear this! She said I should wear ribbons – Mi-Minami-chan, your nose is bleeding."

"It's nothing ... oh, why isn't this my 18th birthday …"

"Why, Minami-chan?"

"The age of consent in this prefecture."

* * *

Class S relationship means girls having crushes on other girls, which teaches the young ladies about "real" relationships and from which they are meant to be outgrown eventually. Mostly what goes on in Marimite, for example.

Originally Patricia had the "premature ejaculation", but I figured only Miyuki would have the vocabulary.

Eunos' excellent KonaKaga doujin had a "package" like this, but I don't think it was originally his idea.

So – I hope I got this right – Minami's 16th birthday was at the 12th of September, 2008. It was a Friday, with a long weekend ahead. In Japan, next Monday (the 15th) was the Respect for the Aged day, which is a national holiday. I assumed they didn't have school at Saturday this time.

This is one of the funniest FUNGAAAH! : youtube dot com/watch?v=fIqE3kd773s

_"Konata ja Kagami ne yhteen soppii, huomenna pannaan pussauskoppiin, sieltä kuuluu niks ja naks, lapsia syntyi satakaks!"_

Couldn't come up with a good ending…


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